With All My Mind

Especially with all my Mind

My husband is a lover of God, in word and deed. As though obtaining his masters in theology isn’t remarkable, he watches and is inspired by preachers who have doctorates in theology. He often watches preachings and teachings on a YouTube channel called The Theology Network. I am not really interested in sermons, as worship [music] can transport me right into the presence of God, especially if the minister is anointed for it. One day, I asked my husband to suggest a preacher that I would relate with, and he suggested Dr Eboni Marshall Turman. I listened to her sermon on YouTube titled Reclaiming a Black Theology For a Black Church, and what struck me the most is that she said that Christians love God with their worship and with their souls but not with their minds. 

I have since been examining my patterns around how I think about God. Most of what I think about God is informed by my upbringing and environment. I think the best of God and sometimes have questions, but I am uncomfortable with having questions. My theories and opinions of God are formed by being a charismatic/pentecostal Christian and not by my own independent conviction. I notice this to be more common in society than we care to admit. Culture and generations determine how we view God and approach Him. In the Pentecostal/charismatic culture, God is our friend, daddy,  blesser, and sometimes, just sometimes, God is our Lord. In my quest to seek God’s answer around Israel/Palestine, I have enveloped myself in the Old Testament… and see God in ways I am even afraid to share on a public platform. I am not uncomfortable, for some reason, as I read about a God who kills as He sees fit. Outside of the Holy Spirit, it is humanly uncomfortable to read stories like that of Gideo’s son, Miriam’s punishment, God’s rejection of Saul, etc. It is apparent [to me] that how I thought about God was informed by a Pentecostal passion for presenting Him nicely packaged so we may ‘win souls.’The Pentecostal movement has done so much PR and marketing for God.

As I journey through reconciling the God of Israel’s covenant and the God of John 3:16, I am determined to love ALL of Him with my mind… especially when it reaches its limits. I am encouraged that I don’t have to agree nor disagree with God. I can just love Him as He is. I can love God when He wipes out a nation, and I can love Him when He gives a hundredfold harvest. I can love God when He regresses from my human standards of ‘goodness,’ and I can love Him when He fits my box.  I can sit through conversations about how cruel a Christian God is, and I can worship together with Hillsong, claiming His love and blessings. Through the Holy Spirit, I can love the Lord with all my heart, all my mind (soul), and all my strength. This golden rule comes not without challenges, but thank God for the Holy Spirit that enables me to love God in His entirety. 

My dear stranger reading this ministry piece, I want to encourage you to explore the discomforts of loving God. I want you to be courageous to cringe at some of His decisions and still call Him Lord. I want you to explore God by yourself and stand on your conviction. The greatest help we have is His spirit, which shows us the mysteries of God and the power of His unconventional love. God is not insecure and does not need us to advocate for Him, He is holy and mighty and can do it all by Himself. All He wants from us is ALL of us fully devoted to ALL of Him. 

Deu 6:5: “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” KJV

Hope that you will have a good week!